Oh no...

Last night I went to Pravda. The idea had been to have a quiet night in watching robots dancing on YouTube or reading up on my astronomy notes now that I've decided to stalk the Dublin Astronomy society as a hobby.

But then Bepe came in and said it had been a good night in tips at his restaurant and did I want to go out for a drink.

"Sure," I said. So we went to Pravda, because it's close and because it's fun. And we had a few drinks. OK, five drinks. That's quite a lot, I guess, but it's hardly the stuff of tabloid headlines about Drinking Culture Out Of Control or anything

And then, on the short way home, something awful happened. I tripped on the pavement and sort of went over on my ankle and bumped in to Bepe and said, "oops," and kind of leaned on him and next thing I know we were kissing. Which is all wrong in so many ways. It lasted for a few minutes and then we rushed home awkwardly and went into our respective rooms very quickly and stayed there.

OMG I am so embarrassed. I don't how how or why that happened. It's all wrong. It's not good. It's so bad I've emailed everyone I know in Dublin to sort of book every evening out for the rest of the week because I so don't want to go there. What should I do now? Move out?

I know, there was that one awkward moment before, but that was an ACCIDENT! Now I feel I like I can't even dry my clothes on the balcony in case he looks at my smalls and thinks that it's a suggestive provocation. So my room is full of wet laundry and I'm just so upset about the whole thing.

So tomorrow I'm going with Saoirse to see a movie. Her choice. And guess what? It's Italian. I haven't told her what happened and I don't really know why I am posting it here except that I kinda feel like I have to tell somone.

And right now? I don't care if I am going there tomorrow, I'm going to the IFI ON MY OWN coz it's one of those places where you can go with a book and I'm gonna sit and read and think about this whole thing because it's just freaking me out.