Worst Weekend Ever

Dublin was alive with colour and spring light and men carrying bouquets of flowers this weekend, and I hated it.

Saturday night, as planned, I met That Guy at Fallon and Byrne's Wine Bar. I was dressed up. I had even, unusually for me, put on a pair of shoes with heels. I'm tall, so I usually don't bother. I gave him his present; Le Fanu's Carmilla, all wrapped up in stupid shiny paper and I note I'd made about le Fanu being one of Ireland's best and most unappreciated writers. You know, I was so excited, because I had been planning this for ages, and I'd hardly seen him over the last couple of weeks, even though we go to the same college.

I feel like such an idiot now.

He opened the book, said, "Uh yeah, thanks." (Uh, yeah, thanks???? I put a load of thought into that!!) and then he goes, "Uh, we gotta talk." And I sat there with the nice wine that I had thought he'd like as he tells me that he's gotten back together with his girlfriend, the mother of his daughter. When? Well, there's a thing. Four weeks ago. FOUR WEEKS AGO! Yes, we've been out in that time. We've been together. And he was already back with her.

I felt as though someone had stuck a knife in my gut, twisted it and then walked away. Laughing. I just got up, pushed the chair back and left. He's sent me a few texts, but I haven't answered them. I went straight home. Saturday night, I felt so bad, I just sat at my table in my room and looked at flights back home. I was seriously thinking maybe I'd just abandon the masters and leave. Then Bepe got back. Fabia hasn't been around since her last trip over, so he was on his own at the weekend too. He knocked on my door to see if I wanted a coffee, and when he saw that I'd been crying (embarrassing; I am not usually a weepy person) he made me take off those stupid high heels ("You look like you're going to fall over") and go out with him for a pint. I told him I was thinking of leaving, and he said not to be stupid, it's not Dublin's fault that I had the bad luck to hook up with such a jerk. He pointed out that things are going well: the course is going well, I've even got a part-time job to start soon (hopefully) and I am thinking of staying on to do more research. It's not worth throwing away all that because of this guy.

But oh, I am so sad. I really liked him. I really like him. And if he rang and said it was all a horrible mistake, I would go straight back. I can't believe that this has happened. Saturday, I was so upset, I didn't even want to sleep in my room, so I crashed out on the sofa in front of some rubbish on the television and woke up feeling even worse, because now I had a hangover, too. Bepe could not have been nicer. He ordered me into the shower, took me for breakfast at a local pub, Smyths on Jervis Street and basically forced me to go out and about with him to check out the Chinese New Year stuff. I did feel better after the breakfast. I guess there's nothing like a plate of greasy, salty food to give you a boost--even if it's not the healthiest start to the day.

It's funny, because I'd have thought that the first person I'd want to call would be a girlfriend, but Bepe was perfect.

I've got to stay busy, because whenever I'm idling I just start thinking about the whole thing and getting so upset. I'm gonna work harder than ever, and I'm going to go out every night until I'm so tired I just fall asleep without thinking. Is this going to make me feel better? I sure hope so, because I can't imagine feeling worse.



So glad to decided to stay. I've been to Dublin twice in the last year from the UK (work + pleasure) and I found your blog invaluable and I love reading about you too!


Hey, you don't know me, I just came across your blog by accident - I live in NL. But as much as it hurts right now - you never, ever want to take this guy back because he'll do the same thing over again. And his mother knew it - it hasn't been a month since you met her, has it?

Take care of yourself and things will get better.

ps Bepe sounds like the bestest friend ever.


Thanks Anonymous. I think you're probably right, unfortunately.


Aah, towniegirl I wanted to cry when I read this because somehow I knew it was heading for disaster and only because I was in the same situation more than once. Like anonymous says don't take him back, I did and it ended in disaster again, it may not feel like it now but once you meet someone else you will wonder what you ever saw in the creep. My worst is I fear something like this will happen to my daughter (who is only 6 and a half at the moment) and I dread it, remember "your mother is always right" and I promise you now that my mom is gone, (Bless her soul) I realise how true these words are - I hated her for telling me that the guy I was involved with was going to hurt me and because he had a daughter it would never work and she was so right! But I guess you only realise these things when you are much older.


Thanks Rose.I'm sorry you had to go through that. I hadn't even told my Mom much about him. I'm glad I didn't now. I blame myself for getting carried away.


My Friend Just Arrived In Dublin, I Hope Nothing happens like this to her, She falls Easy and Could get swept away with all thats going on there!


Hi downdirtychic. I hope your friend enjoys Dublin. It's a fantastic city. But seriously, Irish guys are sneaky!!! That self-deprecating charm they can turn on is the worst. I am definitely off men for a while, just licking my wounds!


I've only ever had two boyfriends, both jerks, one Irish and one Portuguese. I was with Irish guy for 3 years and Portuguese guy for 7 months, and in the end, Portuguese guy was far, far worse. I think men might not mature enough to be decent people until their 30's (at least that's what I'm hoping). I have so many guy friends who seem like great guys who'd be good boyfriends, but now I don't think you see their true colours until you get serious with them. So far I've clearly made exceptionally bad choices on who's worth the gamble, so I guess I could just be subconsciously attracted to jerks. This is my ranty way of saying that heartbreakers, players, and all-round bad boyfriends are an international phenomenon. You DEFINITELY did the right thing by just walking out and ignoring him since. Pure self-respecting class. The perfect response to someone who clearly has absolutely no class or respect for you. Congratulations on not having such a shit person in your life anymore! They'd only lower your level of awesomeness <3


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